


Even if the World Fell Apart

by Kuzuriolu



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mastermind, Canon-Typical Violence, Despair, F/M, Hope, Mastermind Kirigiri Kyouko, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8429494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuzuriolu/pseuds/Kuzuriolu
Summary: Kyouko Kirigiri never felt anything but despair, but......Even so, Makoto Naegi was still glad that he met her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended to be a dark fanfic for Halloween but it. Well. Okay you just gotta read it.

_Why?_

That’s the only thought echoes through Makoto Naegi’s mind as he looks at the scene in front of him. It’s an sea of red, stretching endlessly across the trial room’s floor. In the growing puddle lies four lumps of flesh, formerly full of life, but now lying still, as if they were mere objects.

Byakuya Togami, Touko Fukawa, Aoi Asahina, and Yasuhiro Hagakure. Those had been their names.

_Why? Why did it end up like this…?_

The lucky student trembled, holding back tears. In the pit of his stomach, something was growing. Something deep, dark, and unpleasant.

Despair.

That was truly the only way to describe what the boy was feeling as he looked upon the dead bodies of his former classmates. After the last three weeks of being locked in the strange academy, he had grown close to them, in a sense. Though Togami had always been a complete and utter ass, for a lack of a better term, and Fukawa had been distant, he still thought of them as his friends. They had each other, through the deaths of their other classmates, through murder trials, through distrust and executions… And now, nothing.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Makoto Naegi was not alone. From behind him, the clacking of heels against tile echoed, until a shadow fell upon the boy.

“...Kirigiri-san,” Naegi breathed out. His hands trembled as he clenched them into fists. “...Why? I don’t understand.”

He could not see her reaction, for she was standing behind him, but he was certain that she would look as stoic as always. “The rules of the trial were simple,” she explained. “Figure out the mastermind and all the secrets of the academy, and I would let you all go and execute myself. Name the wrong person, and everyone else would die except me. You all named Junko Enoshima as the mastermind. Though she was my accomplice and operated Monokuma throughout the game, she was not the true mastermind. Therefore, you lost, and received the punishment.”

That wasn’t what he was talking about. He wanted to know _why_ Kirigiri would do this. Throughout those weeks of murder and doubting, he always could rely on Kirigiri. She was incredibly smart and strong willed, and often the two of them would investigate together. In fact, several times, she had called upon him for help so she could uncover the mastermind’s identity. But was that all an act?

He slowly turned around and looked into her hollow, emotionless eyes. She showed no remorse, no affection for the classmates who she had just brutally executed. This wasn’t the Kyouko Kirigiri that he had grown to know.

It really had all been a lie, then…?

“Why did you do this, Kirigiri-san?” he asked once again. “Please, tell me. I want to understand…”

The answer to that question was… complex.

* * *

 

Kyouko Kirigiri was, by all means, a normal girl when she was born.

She was a healthy, young girl at a normal size and weight. Her parents admired her deeply and held her close to them. Often times, her parents would brag about her to other people.

_“My Kyouko is so beautiful! She’s such a healthy little baby!”_

_“Kyouko’s already walking, even though she’s barely nine months old! She’s so smart!”_

_“Kyouko has already said her first word! Can you believe it?”_

She grew very quickly for her age, and showed signs of being incredibly intelligent even as an infant. By the time she had entered elementary school, she was a master at solving puzzles. She spent a lot of her time playing with puzzle books, though she was not exactly the most social of children. Her parents were always impressed by her and praised her highly.

Of course, this was only natural for the next in line to the Kirigiri family of detectives. For generations, the Kirigiri family had been expertly solving crime after crime. They were second to absolutely no one. Kirigiri’s grandfather had the exact same plans for his granddaughter, of course. She was to become a detective at a young age and learn all the trade secrets so that she would one day inherit the family business.

She had begun to do detective work as early as six years old. Of course, she showed immediate promise when her grandfather began to teach her. She picked up on tactics quickly and was able to solve basic mock crimes that he would present to her. Being a detective quickly became Kirigiri’s everything. It was more important to her than her parents, her other hobbies, the other children at school… it was the absolute most important thing.

When she was seven years old, her grandfather took her overseas while he was solving a case. During those same days, her mother fell ill and passed away. Kirigiri didn’t even get to say goodbye to her. She was simply told that her mother had died.

Immediately afterwards, her father, who had often told her that she was the most precious thing in the world to him, left. He simply wanted no more business with the Kirigiri family, and therefore, no more business with his own daughter. He, too, left without saying goodbye.

And so, Kirigiri was left all alone with nothing but her talent.

Being a detective was now the only thing she had.

Perhaps that was when things went wrong.

* * *

 

Sometimes, she wondered when she first fell in love with despair.

It must have been when she was eight years old, when she was allowed near her first real crime scene. Before then, it had simply been her grandfather investigating, showing her the evidence and explaining his thoughts and reasoning to her  so that she could pick up on his methods. But when she was eight years old, her grandfather decided that she was mature enough to see what detectives did in person.

That was, of course, the first time she saw a corpse.

It was covered by a thin, white sheet, but just looking at it gave Kirigiri the chills. Underneath there was the corpse of someone who once had hopes and dreams, who once had a future. Now, he was nothing more than a rotting heap of flesh.

“I know it smells bad,” her grandfather told her. “But it’s something you get used to.” The old man said this as he bent down and removed the sheet from the body.

Kirigiri was met face to face with a dead man. He had been stabbed multiple times in the chest, the blood by now having dried up on his white dress shirt. His arms were resting at his side, his hands still clenched into fists, his joints stiff. Some of the blood had managed to splatter on his pants, and it was seeping beneath him, forming a now dried up puddle.

But that wasn’t what caught Kirigiri’s attention. It was the eyes of the victim.

They were still wide open, clearly in shock, though the life within them had completely faded. Even though he was dead, there was one thing that still reflected in his eyes…

Despair.

Despair of losing his life. Despair of not being able to fight back. Despair of leaving behind family. Despair of leaving behind his friends. Despair of leaving behind his accomplishments. Despair of never being able to fulfil his wishes. Despair of dying at such a young age. Despair of the times that had been taken from him. Despair of _death._

The longer she stared, the more she became entranced by it. He had died in complete and utter despair.

...Despair. She knew that feeling well. She had felt despair when her mother had died, when her father had left her behind without a single word, and when she was left with absolutely nothing. But this sort of despair, the despair of death… it was new to her.

Perhaps most people would be repulsed, but… Kyouko Kirigiri was hypnotized.

It became her favorite part of investigating. Every time a new body popped up, Kirigiri would take the time to stare into the victim’s eyes. They were always in despair when they died, she could tell that much, but she always had to wonder… what did it feel like? What did it look like when the victim realized that their life was at an end, that they were going to die without ever having accomplished what they wished to? That was a once in a lifetime feeling.

It was then that she slowly realized something. She wanted to see it for herself. She wanted to see the moment that the victim’s hope for the future became the despair of cold, endless death.

She wanted to be a murderer.

The moment she realized that, her life changed. She began solving crime to understand what killers did and what she could do in order to prevent herself from being caught as easily as them, and all the while, she envied them. At night, she would lie in her bed and think about death. She would imagine the hilt of a knife in the palm of her hand and the feeling of the blade burying into human flesh, followed by the crimson blood that would spill onto. Her mind will fill with the screams of pain that her future victims would make. How many would there be? She wasn’t sure. But she wanted her victims to feel despair. She wanted them to feel the same despair she had felt when she was abandoned. The despair of losing everything.

* * *

 

She was twelve years old when she killed for the first time.

It was exhilarating, and all that she had ever imagined. Her victim had cried out in pain and despair as she plunged the knife deep into her chest, his blood flowing from the wound to the ground beneath him. He had died with the look of despair on his eyes that Kirigiri had always been fascinating. Truly, seeing it happen in real time was much different than it had been just seeing the result.

But that wasn’t the only fun part. It was amusing to see the detectives try to solve her crime. As expected of the young Kirigiri heiress, who knew much about murders and evidence, it was near perfect. Many of them were baffled, and none of them even dared to guess that the culprit was a twelve year old girl, and the granddaughter of their boss.

It wasn’t enough. She had to do it again.

And so she did.

* * *

 

Despair was all Kirigiri had. It was all she ever had, now that she had thought about it. She had been born into a family of detectives, which was a line of work that involved seeing death and despair up close. It was only natural that she, too, would fall into despair. She no longer understood anything else but the despair she created for herself and her victims when she killed people.

There was no hope left for her. For a girl like Kyouko Kirigiri, hope was impossible.

That’s why she found it ironic when she was scouted for Hope’s Peak Academy, the prestigious school that prided itself on talent. It’s goal was to take the talent of youth and nourish them into “hope.”

How funny it was that they thought she could be hope for the future. Her, someone who had only felt despair her entire life, could not create hope, and certainly not with a talent like Super High School Level Detective.

But there was one thing that drew her to Hope’s Peak Academy, one thing that had made her interested in the academy in the first place. The headmaster who was currently running the academy was a man by the name of Jin Kirigiri.

Her father.

Her father, who she hadn’t seen since he had abandoned her years ago. Her father, who she hated with every single fiber of her being, for both abandoning her and disregarding the Kirigiri name. Her father, who she wanted to _kill…_

Yes. She was going to come, if only for that. She would teach her father the same despair he had given to her.

...But then, another plan hatched in her mind. Simply killing her father wouldn’t be enough to satisfy her cravings for despair. She had already come far enough, hadn’t she? She was a smart young woman and more than capable of doing almost anything she wanted, so why not aim high?

_I’m going to end the world._

* * *

 

Hope’s Peak Academy was more than she was expecting it to be. It was a hugely valuable resource to her plan. The students there were beyond talented and capable of assisting her with her plan, should she manage to pull the right strings to make them work for her. It did not take long for her to scout out another classmate of hers, Junko Enoshima.

Junko Enoshima had that same look in her eye. That look of despair. Kirigiri instantly knew that Enoshima was like her. It wasn’t hard to convince Enoshima and her sister, Mukuro Ikusaba, to join her on her quest to end the world.

Though Enoshima’s talent was the Super High School Level Fashionista on the surface, she was actually hiding another, more valuable talent: The Super High School Level Analyst. Enoshima was a genius in every sense of the world and could analyze people and predict their future actions based on past behaviors and events. Her older sister was the Super High School Level Soldier, meaning she could easily take out anyone who tried to oppose them. Just the three of them were an incredibly capable team. There was, however, one thing that stood in their plan.

Hope.

And that single concept was embodied in one human being: Makoto Naegi, the Super High School Level Good Luck of Kirigiri’s class. Though his talent was almost completely worthless and he was often overlooked by many of the other students for being completely and utterly average, he had caught Kirigiri’s eye for his sheer optimism. No matter what happened, he always seemed to be able to hold onto hope. It was completely and utterly astonishing to Kirigiri, who had long ago been consumed by despair.

“Kirigiri-san!” he called out to her, bounding down the hallway.

“Naegi-kun,” she greeted him, nodding. “You better walk, or else Ishimaru-kun will yell at you.”

Naegi stopped in place and rubbed the back of his head. “S-Sorry! I just wanted to see you, that’s all, and I guess I got a little excited.” He flustered a bit, playing a bit with his hair. “Anyway! I need your help on this assignment. I kinda failed the last test, but I want to do better this time, and I know you’re really smart… so you’ll probably be able to teach me easily, won’t you?” he asked, holding out his textbooks.

Kirigiri sighed, looking down upon the books. “Of course I can,” she spoke. “But why not ask Ishimaru-kun for help instead?”  
“Well, I want to spend time with you, I guess,” Naegi admitted sheepishly, flustering a bit. “‘Cuz you’re a friend of mine, Kirigiri-san, and I want to get to know you better.”

She blinked in surprise. This was the first time someone had been so… kind to her. It was rather jarring, in fact. “All right, we can go study if you want. I’m not doing anything right now,” she told him.

The luckster looked incredibly pleased. “Thank you, Kirigiri-san! Let’s go, then!”

In a haste, the boy began wandering down the hallway, but immediately tripped over the foot of another student. He yelled out as he tumbled to the ground, falling face first into the tile.

“Are you alright?” she had to ask.

Naegi pulled himself up, an embarrassed look on his face. “I’m fine!” he assured her, rubbing the back of his head. “I trip so often, I’m kinda used to it. I guess it’s just my luck, really. I might be the Super High School Level Good Luck, but I get  bad luck more often than not.” He shrugged it off. “But that’s all right! I can work through it. It’s not a big deal. After all, my luck let me attend this academy and meet you!”

Kirigiri wasn’t sure WHAT she was thinking. What was this… powerful hope this boy had? He had been cursed with such terrible luck, and yet, and yet… He was so hopeful, so optimistic, so…

Adorable…

Her cheeks flustered a bit and her heart began to race. No matter what kind of despair this boy went through, he was always so full of hope. How she envied him. How she wished she could feel that sort of hope, that sort of--

\--What…? What was she thinking?

Despair was the only thing for her. Why was she thinking about hope?

No, she was not jealous. All she needed was despair. She was already this far into her plans, so she couldn’t turn back now. The brainwashing video, courtesy of Ryouta Mitarai, was almost complete. After that, the world would fall into chaos as she had always dreamt of. She couldn’t rethink everything now. She had no choice but to continue.

So she sealed away her feelings and went on. Besides, the hope that Naegi had was impossible for someone like her, anyway. There was no way she could feel hope.

There was… no way...

* * *

 

Kyouko Kirigiri stood there before the sea of blood, containing the bodies of the people she once called her classmates. She had succeeded in deceiving her classmates and placing them through a killing game, where she watched in amusement as they attempted to solve the mysteries she created for them. The world outside was completely destroyed and in chaos as bodies piled up endlessly. Many people lay in the streets, waiting for death as despair overtook them. Truly, many people lived without hope.

She was one step away from victory. Only one obstacle remained: Makoto Naegi.

Once she killed him, the world would be hers.

“Why, Kirigiri-san?” he repeated over and over again, looking out at the bodies. “Why did you do this?” Tears were now streaming from his eyes, and he was no longer able to fight them. “We were friends, Kirigiri-san. You helped me solve so many cases… are you telling me that was all a lie?”

“Yes,” she answered simply, though she did not know if it was the truth or not. “I only had one reason for doing it. Despair. Ever since I was born, it’s the only thing that I have ever had in my life. It’s the only thing that I have ever felt.”

Slowly, Kirigiri removed a switchblade from her sleeve and approached Naegi. He did not fight as she pinned him down to the ground, holding the blade to his throat.

“Now, Makoto Naegi. I will end  you and this game,” she told him, the steel pressing against his skin. “So… give me your best dying look.”

She looked deeply into his eyes, craving that look of despair that she knew all too well. The despair someone felt before they were going to die, when they realized their life was for nothing. But it simply never came.

... Naegi was… smiling at her.

“...Kirigiri-san,” he spoke up, tears running down his face. Despite this situation, despite the fact that his best friend was holding a knife to his throat, he was still smiling. “I’m so glad that I met you, Kirigiri-san.”

...What…?

He was glad that he had met her…?

But she had killed his classmates, and now, she was even going to kill him…! And yet, here he was, smiling before her, refusing to despair, saying such things as…!!!

Her grip on the knife faltered. She could only stare in shock.

“I don’t believe what you said just now, Kirigiri-san,” Naegi told her, still smiling. “You said you were born in despair, and that it’s all that you’ve ever felt, but… I still believe that the Kirigiri-san I met, the one who helped me and was so kind to me… I still believe that she exists. In fact… I’m certain that’s still you, Kirigiri-san.” He clenched his fists at his sides. “I… I am angry and upset, but not at you. I’m upset at the people who made you this way. You said your father abandoned you, right? ...Since you’re the mastermind, I’m certain you were the one who killed him, but… I can’t forgive that he made you feel that kind of despair. I won’t pretend I really understand what happened between you two, but… You should have had a better life. It’s not fair that so many people hurt you and made you this way. But… the Kirigiri-san that I grew to love, I’m sure that’s the real Kirigiri-san.”

“What… what are you saying!?” Kirigiri asked, her hand trembling. “I was acting in order to deceive you. I wanted to move you off track into thinking that I couldn’t be the mastermind. I’m not really like that at all…”

Naegi shook his head. “I refuse to believe that.” Slowly, he reached out, taking both of her hands in his own as she dropped the blade completely. “I… I want to help you, Kirigiri-san. I want to free you from despair, because… because I know that’s not all that you are.” He nodded, determined. “I… I will show you hope, Kirigiri-san…! I’ll definitely, definitely free you from despair...!”

Kirigiri could only stare in shock. What was this…? This boy… he was so stubborn. Even now, he was still talking about hope. Was there truly no way to make him despair? ...He had always been like this. He would always smile at the worst things, laughing and saying things would get better. Even when the world was falling apart, he still had hope. And now, when he was face to face with the person who had caused it all, he was refusing to despair, refusing to hate her.

…This was the end for her, wasn’t it…? There was no way she could defeat Makoto Naegi, no way to make him despair. She could, of course, just kill him, but her heart wouldn’t let her. Why wouldn’t it? She could have gotten rid of him so many times, and yet, and yet…

Oh, right… It was because she was in love with him, wasn’t it?

...Come to think of it… how long had she been in love with him for? She thought back to their days at school. It certainly hadn’t been love at first sight. Kirigiri was not the type to fall in love with a man she hardly knew. It was slowly and it happened over time. After countless interactions, countless times of watching him get up when he fell and smile even when something bad had happened to him. It was after time and time of him holding her hand, smiling at her and sharing his kindness with her… and, of course, his hope.

Slowly, for the first time in years, Kyouko Kirigiri began to cry.

“Why…?” she asked herself. “Why did I do all of this? I destroyed the entire world, I destroyed my family, my classmates, the people I cared for… for the sake of despair? Why?”

Was it because she had believed that she could not feel hope? Because she believed that despair was the only thing that was meant for her? Because it was the only thing she felt and she was afraid of anything else? Because she thought that she could no longer turn back after having killed someone for the first time?

_Ah… that’s it… All this time, what I really wanted was…_

_...Hope…_

“Don’t cry, Kirigiri-san,” Naegi-kun whispered to her, brushing the tears away from her face. “It’s all right. I forgive you. I know the rest of the world won’t forgive you so easily, but… I know the real Kirigiri-san, so I’ll definitely forgive you!” He squeezed her hands tightly, smiling brightly. “After all… you’re the most important person to me…!”

“Naegi-kun…” she whispered to him, touching his cheek. Tears continued to fall from her eyes, despite the fact that he was wiping them away. She had so much she wanted to say, but it was hard to find the words. Taking a deep breath in, she began to speak….

“Thank you. Thank you, Naegi-kun. Thank you for finally freeing me from despair,” she told him, the words echoing from the bottom of her heart. “I was searching for hope all this time, but I couldn’t find it. How foolish I was. I didn’t realize that it was right by my side the entire time. I should have given up on my plans, I should have spared everyone. I should have realized that despair wasn’t the only thing for me. I should have known that what I truly wanted was hope.”

She removed herself from him, allowing him to stand up. The scene before them had now been completely forgotten, along with the switchblade she had intended to use to end his life. Slowly, Naegi’s hands reached for her shoulders. He smiled as he grew closer to her, until his face was inches away from hers…

“I love you, Kirigiri-san,” he whispered gently before their lips met.

How strange to think that he was now kissing the girl who had brought the world to his knees, the girl who had just killed his classmates before him. But even despite what she had done, the kiss was soft and gentle. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to focus only on his lips and the feeling of being so close to him. His words repeated over and over in her head as she gently returned the kiss, the faintest of smiles on her lips…

It seemed like an eternity before he pulled away from her.

“I love you, Naegi-kun,” she whispered gently to him. She reached for his hands again, lacing their fingers together. “I’ve been in despair for so long, it’ll probably take years before I can fully recover, and the world outside will surely hate me, but… Even so, may I ask selfishly that you remain by my side?”

Naegi nodded enthusiastically. “Of course, Kirigiri-san! I understand it might take a while, but… I’ll definitely remove despair from you! You can count on me. After all… I love you!” he gushed.

In response, Kirigiri smiled, feeling hope within her. It was the first time in years she had allowed such a feeling, and it felt truly wonderful, far more wondrous than any despair that she had ever experienced.

Perhaps it would never be possible to redeem herself, but one day, she hoped that she would see a brighter future, one where the world was free of what she had done to it.  With Naegi by her side, it seemed completely possible.

**Author's Note:**

> So okay, let me tell you a thing. I hate, hate, HATE despair Naegi aus. I DESPISE THEM. And guess what the most common mastermind au is? Naegi. Honestly, he's too much of a pure egg to EVER be in despair and all the aus just... they don't work at all in my opinion. I find despair Kirigiri a lot more interesting, because I like the idea of the heroine being the villain all along. Besides, I think I can make it work if I try hard enough.
> 
> I have a lot of thoughts about mastermind Kirigiri and and important one to remember is that she is by no means the same as Junko Enoshima. I cannot picture a Kirigiri who only feels despair. That's just too out of character for me to even write. She is the mastermind but she is a different kind of person than Enoshima. It's not as though I'm just taking Kirigiri and replacing Enoshima with her, completely copying her personality and calling it a day. Mastermind Kirigiri is much different from Enoshima as a mastermind.
> 
> Mastermind Kirigiri is an AU I've been developing since 2013. Of course, things have changed since DR3 quite a bit. I've had to edit it over time. The line where Naegi said he would have still been glad to have met her even if she was despair MADE ME SO HAPPY, THOUGH, BECAUSE IT ENFORCES MY HEADCANON THAT NAEGI IS JUST A PURE, FORGIVING GUY. Honestly, I love Naegi? It's also given me plenty more to work with.
> 
> The original version of this I was writing before DR3 aired and it was 5,000 words and not even a sixth done and... I chopped it down to this fanfic and maybe one day I'll post the whole 30,000 or something word beast.
> 
> This... wasn't supposed to be so hopeful. It just ended up that way.
> 
> I haven't been able to write recently because of self esteem issues and writers block, so I hope you can at least enjoy this for now while I try to work on updating my other fanfictions.


End file.
